But First, What is God’s Grace. And is it For Me?
Once, a long time ago, I called out to God to help me with this very question. This prayer led me on a journey to find God’s grace:
Lord, help me understand your grace in my life so I can be healed. Help me comprehend in all its fullness what you mean by, “my grace is sufficient.” Because I don’t grasp the meaning of your love right now.
What does grace even mean?
God’s unmerited favor.
Because Psalm 51:5 says, “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me.” All who are born are born in sin. Anyone who is honest with themselves knows this.
Why Do I Even Need Grace?
For this I went to Genesis 3. I wanted to learn how my first parents got into such trouble. Adam and Eve, by choosing independence and believing Satan’s lie, went their own way. They hid, and rightfully so. They’d broken God’s perfect and holy standard for them. One that was nurturing and protective, and intimate. He had a perfect line for them to guide them, and they crossed it. When they realized this, struck by fear and shame, they hid. To verify this, I went to Genesis 3:8. Now, instead of the intimate relationship they once had with God, they experienced separation from God. They’d crossed the line and became spiritually dead because of sin. They had no power to save themselves.
God Had a Rescue Plan
Thankfully, God stepped in and sought them out. He had a rescue plan that wasn’t easy. He covered them with animal skins, slayed an animal to do it, and was the first recorded death of one of his creatures. When I see a dead animal, I shudder at what that must have been like. The grief it cost God to slay something so beautiful. But without that, these early parents wouldn’t have been covered. Sacrifices from then on needed to be made.
But not always.
God told them, one day, the Messiah, Jesus, would come and his perfect blood would be enough. God incarnate, His blood shed on the cross, would pay the debt price for all mankind.
So, God drew a line. They crossed it. God moved in Grace.
Just to be certain, I learned that God’s grace did not move his line—his perfect standard never changed. Not even an inch. But he reached over his line to rescue man. He loved them and wanted them back.
The Work of Grace Was All His
So, now I’m sure I need Grace to be saved, because I’ve missed God’s perfect standard. I’ve missed the mark. I’ve crossed his line.
Now what?
Reaching for an understanding as it relates to my prayer has been strenuous. We know from scripture God’s standard doesn’t move. Then what does he expect? I cry out again. God, I’ll never find your favor then. I want to walk your perfect path, but I keep crossing your line. I can’t stay on it. I keep falling into some sort of waywardness. This is hopeless.
I read further. “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:21 NKJV. Does that mean I don’t have to measure up? I mean, not that I can. But is God saying something… fabulous? That the only way to receive God’s grace is through faith in Jesus Christ? I don’t have to work it up? Earn it? Not even a little? Again, not that I can. But in fact, when I try to earn favor by first cleaning myself up, I steal from God, and from Jesus, whose perfect blood was spilled at Calvary on my behalf. How many layers of wrong ideas had to be peeled back before gaining insight? A lot. By now, I’m weary, broken, and bare before him. All I know is, I want God’s covering; the same one he’d promised would redeem my first parents. And his name is Jesus.
Grace and Truth Only Come Through Him
It’s all Him!
I received this news and was astounded. Speechless. God’s love is that good.
By his death on the cross, his burial and resurrection, my sin debt was cancelled. I don’t have to strive for that which I’d never achieve. I just need Him.
And to follow closely. But that part, I’d learn along the way.
I’m praising God, that by faith in Jesus as my personal savior, he says of me, not guilty. He’s covered me by his blood, wrapped me in his righteous robes, and by sharing in his identity, he calls me righteous. Often, I’d get this part muddled. As if this is my righteousness, I have to work up. And then, I fall under all sorts of accusations. One thought in particular that keeps creeping in is, you’ll never be good enough.
The Great News is Absolutely Beautiful
Quickly, I’d run back to the great news and is absolutely beautiful. “But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace, you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” Ephesians 2:4-9 NKJV
In and of myself, I make no claims to righteousness. But because Jesus is perfect, and I’m now identified with him, there’s nothing to add.
I can now walk freely by grace.
His Holy Spirit, the third person in the trinity, promises to always turn my eyes to Jesus, by whose stripes I am healed.
I soon learned this love of God doesn’t tote some euphoric state. This love allows for pain and is the kind that helps prepare you for battle.
Which I’m glad to know, because—what I’m experiencing right now is a battle.
Our Help is in the Name of the Lord
Psalm 124
“Had it not been the Lord who was on our side,” Let Israel now say, “Had it not been the Lord who was on our side When men rose up against us, Then they would have swallowed us alive, when their anger was kindled against us; Then the waters would have engulfed us, The stream would have swept over our soul; Then the raging waters would have swept over our soul.” Blessed be the Lord, Who has not given us to be torn by their teeth. Our soul has escaped as a bird out of the snare of the trapper; The snare is broken, and we have escaped. Our help is in the name of the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.
I Would Have Been Overwhelmed
As I sit, sadness threatens to take me farther than I should go. It wants to take me to the swamp of memory, where hurts, wrongs, and failures lie. I’m weary, every muscle exhausted. I just know I can’t do this today. As I sit, by default, my body rests. There’s room for nothing else right now.
If it hadn’t been for the Lord on my side—like the psalmist said when he was in the midst of battle—I would have been overwhelmed. For me, I might have felt like a trapped bird. But this feeling isn’t new. I’ve felt this way before. In my earlier walk with the Lord, I might not have run to Him so quickly. I’d have allowed my pain to comfort me like an old blanket. I’d finger the threads of the past.
God is a God of Forgiveness
But God is a God of forgiveness. “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12 NKJV. Since God no longer remembers my sins as a follower of Jesus, than I shouldn’t either, not mine, not others. I mull this over and pray. Because I know forgiveness is the only way. It’s God’s way. “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:15 NKJV. Without a forgiving heart, I’m not His. And although this sounded like an ultimatum, I further learned it speaks more to God’s heart. He is a God of reconciliation. And he wants me to understand that. It’s critical to having an intimate relationship with him.
If anything, I can’t do this, but I want to. I want to love this forgiving God. Be a part of his family. “Then, I forgive.” I say my decision out loud. Whether this is to forgive myself or others. This needs to be stated. Not to minimize pain, but I know now I’m in a battle.
My Grace is Sufficient
I travel to 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”
He loves me and will battle for me.
But I still need to get up and move, carry on.
I hear a whisper. Not yet. So, I sit awhile.
What do I do?
“I know, God, you give grace to the dying…but do you give grace to…live?”
His response, I do, reaches my heart, and I’m reminded more of a betrothal.
I reach for more.
It can’t wait.
God is Faithful
“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13
How, God? How to I keep on keeping on? The world tells me if you are loving, then we shouldn’t have to suffer. What kind of love would allow for pain?
“For you have been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe and confidently trust in Him but also to suffer for His sake.” Philippians 1:29.
The question, why, fizzles away when I see him as he is, in pain. Broken, slain, dying on a cross—pain for me. I shove my old blanket to the side faster than before.
He is worthy. By grace, I’m able to see Jesus as he is, perfect, in a spotless, righteous robe and have no desire for my blanket. He covers me.
And yes, He is faithful. His peace is perfect.
Faith… More Precious than Gold
“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” I Peter 1:6-7. NKJ. As painful as trials are, we know He uses every one of them to bring us to maturity and bring glory to the one we love, Jesus.
But can I say with Paul, “I am well pleased with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake…” 2nd Corinthians 12:10
At night, the darkness latches onto every hopeless thought again. I don’t want to just grit my teeth and hold on. I need you, Lord. Fill me with your word. Fill me with yourself, because the other way only leads to more brokenness.
God says when I am weak (in human strength), then I am strong (truly able, by drawing on God’s strength). He died for me, and the battle is His, settles my weary mind.
His words blanket me, and I’m able to fall asleep.
His Mercies are New Every Morning
In the morning, I step out of bed. He is with me, his rod, and staff they comfort me. No matter the circumstance. His mercies really are new every morning.
Today, I’m praising Jesus for his covering, for God’s love that has lifted me up, and for giving grace for the battle.
“Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ (may completely) enfold me and may dwell in me.” 2nd Corinthians 12:9 Amplified Bible.
Blessings,
Johanna
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